Getting your bed back from your children can be a major task especially if they are used to the snuggle and cuddle right from day one of birth, but I think that it is in the child’s best interest to limit access to the parental bed to an occasional invited snuggle.
Do you have a child who wonders into your bedroom at odd hours of the night? Don’t worry you are not alone.My son was doing this until his sister came.
So I ask Why do you allow your children into your bed? Is it a Family lifestyle or reactive co sleeping? Every family has to have healthy boundaries. A child has to acquire the ability to self-soothe, and this skill can only develop when parents are artful about when to move in and give comfort and when to allow their child needed space.
When a parent allows this child to sleep through the night with them, they may believe they are solving the problem by offering a comforting presence. In the long run, the child may pay by becoming overly dependent on the parent and have greater difficulty in adjusting to any kind of change.
So what do you do when your child comes to you in the middle of the night, or refuses to go to bed in his/her own room? Of course, your child is seeking warmth and reassurance, and needs it at that moment. I suggest getting up and going with the child back into his room, that way you create a way out for your child that you will always be to keep them safe.
1.Tuck your child in, talk softly and offer words of comfort.
2. Read a favorite story and retrieve a favorite, cuddly stuffed toy to hold.
3.You can lie on the bed next to your child, offering the comfort of your physical closeness and nurturing touch.
4.Encourage your child to think positively and about things he/she can do and think of that will lead to the child feeling empowered.
5. You can promise that you will stay until your child falls back to sleep and when this happens, return to your own bed.
6. If your child can’t fall asleep without your presence, slowly withdraw yourself from the equation, instead of lying together, sit on your child’s bed until she falls asleep.
Repeat this routine as needed. Consistency is key, it will be shaky at the start but in the long run, Your child will learn that her room is her own special and safe place.
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